Before I attended the Changed Women’s Retreat, I had a decent relationship with Christ and thought I had submitted myself to Him. But what I experienced at Changed truly changed my life in ways I didn’t think were possible for me.
In my first quiet time when I was supposed to be speaking to God and working on that relationship, I just felt stuck. I climbed up into the mountains where no one was around me and spoke to God. But didn’t really know what to say. It felt automated and robotic. I just sat down and cried. I felt like I couldn’t even talk to God the right way. So I decided to quit praying how I felt like I was supposed to and started simply talking to Him.
I knew He already knew my entire story, but I told him everything anyway—all my experiences, all my feelings. I told God in an intense weep, “If you can hear me, God...if you are listening, God…just give me a sign.” Then I stood up and headed back down the mountain to camp.
As I turned down the path, I looked up and there were maybe eight humongous monarch butterflies circling my head. Not just sporadic movement. They were actually circling around me! Of course I bawled my little eyes out in such amazement that this mighty and powerful God who flung the stars into space sent ME a sign. I knew it was for me.
This ministry has given me so many blessings. Blessings that I think I’ve had all this time, but it took me having the confidence to know that I’m worth God’s love for me to see them. I was able to let go of all the things that have burdened me since I was a child and into my adult years. I’m completely uncovered from shame, guilt, and regret.
I see butterflies everywhere I go now. They always flutter pass me when I need them. And sometimes, if I’m in tune with God in that moment, I’ll see one sitting right beside me, very still. Still enough for me to kneel down and gaze at its beauty.