As a little girl, my greatest desire was to feel love and be loved by my earthly father. But as the use of drugs wreaked havoc in my father’s life, my basic needs were forgotten. Love certainly was not on the agenda.
The evil one planted lies in my heart, and over time, I truly believed I was unlovable, ugly, and worthless. I began handing my body over to men in a desperate attempt to feel wanted, thinking it would fill the void. But each encounter only led to more pain and shame. I was a broken woman in desperate need of healing.
When I learned about the Changed Women’s Retreat, I knew it was something I wanted to experience. I felt in the depths of my soul God had beautiful plans for me that could only be discovered at this retreat. But in true Jesus form, He had far more in store for me than I could have imagined.
I had never realized the amount of damage I was carrying until retreat. In those precious few days, Jesus finally had the opportunity to dig deep into my heart and heal every doubt and insecurity caused by my childhood wounds. As it turns out, I was always searching for my Father in Heaven. His love is what my heart ached for all those years.
At retreat, I asked Jesus why I had to go through all of the pain and destruction. His answer was simple: “To bring you to Me.” Suddenly, it all made perfect sense.
“And you will open their eyes to their true condition, so that they may turn from darkness to the Light and from the power of Satan to the power of God. By placing their faith in me they will receive the total forgiveness of sins and be made holy, taking hold of the inheritance that I give to my children!” Acts 26-18
By the grace of my Jesus, He pulled me out of the depths of my sin-filled life and redeemed me with His relentless pursuit of my heart. I have never been more fulfilled as I am becoming more of the woman He is creating me to be. I know my value is found in Christ alone, and I have never felt more cherished.