Being Female isn't a Competitive Sport

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.” ~ ‭‭Philippians 4:8‬ ‭~


Being a female isn't a competitive sport, and yet so many of us act like it is exactly that. We compare our hair, waist lines, bank accounts, houses, children, and even our pets. We want to win. So we act like our way is the only way, and let Satan lead us into gossiping and forming cliques.

What would happen if we celebrated each other's victories, blessings, and lives and didn't think that in doing so we were somehow less?


I know the inner battle can be difficult. But I can cheer you on and let you know I think you're beautiful, and that does not in any way negate my own beauty or importance. There are enough jobs to go around that we can all feel needed. There's enough space in the beauty department that we can all be beautiful. My beauty doesn't take away someone else's beauty, and someone else's beauty doesn't take away mine.

One of my favorite things to do is to hand out compliments to other women. I find it interesting how different women react. Some are taken aback. Some seem relieved to be seen. Some look at me like I've lost all my marbles. Some are tongue tied. Some disqualify the complement (I've been guilty of this myself). But few accept the compliment with grace by simply smiling and saying thank you.

In Psalm 139:13, the Bible says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. If I am indeed fearfully and wonderfully made, then so is the girl I'm passing by at Wal-Mart or serving me at the Dry Cleaner. The girl who is twice my age and the one who is half my age. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. I can celebrate that in others because I believe that what is true in God's Word for me, is true for all the women I come into contact with. Even the ones who are competing with me.


The Bible says to think about whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and worthy of praise (Phil. 4:8). It's such a simple thing - to actually say the nice things we are thinking about someone. Our words can bring life and blessings if we choose to let them.


"So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding" (Rom. 14:19). It's not all about me. Giving away sweet words will uplift others, as well as me. It helps me take the focus off of my own desire to be seen and validated by giving the gift away and doing it for others.


Lord, thank you for loving me and giving me eyes to see beauty around me. Please help me to see others as you see them. Please help my thoughts to be your thoughts so that I can love others for who you made them to be. Help me to love the ones who are easy to embrace and the ones who challenge me. Lord, I lay down my thought life into your hands and pray that you would lead my words to build others up.


In His love,

Leah Milligan

Changed Women's Ministry